


Tell Me You'll Still Hold Me Dear

by HeereandThere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M, Rejection, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 05:11:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15381372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeereandThere/pseuds/HeereandThere
Summary: Michael prepared for the worst when he decided to confess to Jeremy, but the sting of heartbreak can break through any emotional armor.





	Tell Me You'll Still Hold Me Dear

**Player 2:** I'm so sorry

 

**Player 2:** I shouldn't have taken off but I panicked

 

**Player 2:** It was all super sudden and I didn't know how to react

 

**Player 2:** I know you're there Michael

 

**Player 2:** Please don't do this

 

**Player 2:** I'm sorry

 

The last text sent was from about 25 minutes prior; Jeremy had eventually realized that pushing the matter was a futile attempt. Yet, Michael continued to read the one-sided conversation over and over again, hearing the desperation in his friend's nonverbal voice. Each time he read the words "I'm sorry", he only managed to feel worse and would contract a little bit more into himself. He was essentially laying on his bed in the fetal position at this point and held the phone as tightly as he could to his face.

 

He had never hated himself more than he did in that very moment.

 

_You made a move too soon, Michael._

 

_Christine's been gone for only a month and a half and you're already going after her ex-boyfriend? Pathetic._

 

_You're his_ best friend _. You seem to be the only one who doesn't realize that "friend" means "friend"._

 

_You scared him away and now he'll never even love you_ _platonically_ _. You ruined_ _** everything ** _ _._

 

He _knew_ how things would play out, knew that Jeremy didn't feel the same way, knew that he was putting someone who meant the world to him in an uncomfortable position all because he was stupid with love. 

 

_"I really like you, Jeremy."_

 

_"I like you, too."_

 

_"No, I mean REALLY like you."_

 

It was in that moment that a midly horrified look crossed Jeremy's face. But Michael couldn't keep his big mouth shut.

 

_"Ever since we were really little, I've always felt this... connection to you. Like, for the rest of my life, I could have just you with me and be perfectly fine. You mean pretty much everything to me and I... I guess this is my way of saying that I've always kind of seen you as more than a friend."_

 

_"Michael..."_

 

Michael had glanced up at Jeremy and hoped for some kind of verbal acknowledgement of his confession. However, his friend's eyes darted around the room in pure panic as his breathing quickened.

 

_"I..."_

 

Jeremy's eyes met Michael's for but a second before he hurried onto his feet from his beanbag chair.

 

_"I have to go."_

 

_"Jeremy, wait-"_

 

He was already on his way up the stairs, backpack clutched to his chest.

 

_"I'll see you at school."_

 

_"Please, let me explain-"_

 

Michael's front door slammed before he could get in those last few words he prayed Jeremy would hear.

 

_"I'm sorry!"_

 

Relaying the devastating moment in his head over and over again, Michael buried his face in his pillow and plainly took in the physical comfort rather than focusing on the emotional distress. He eventually looked up and sighed a bit dramatically; ignoring Jeremy wasn't going to solve anything.

 

**Y** **ou:** It's ok

 

"Player 2" responded almost instantaneously with an onslaught of texts.

 

**Player 2:** No it's not

 

**Player 2:** I overreacted by a ton

 

**Player 2:** But you have to understand that I feel how I feel

 

**Player 2:** It's nothing against you

 

**Player 2:** I'm not ready to date again

 

**Player 2:** And you're like a brother to me

 

**Player 2:** I just want things to stay the way they are

 

Michael swallowed hard and relinquished a shuddering breath. Somehow, Jeremy explaining his situation was the equivalent of shoving daggers into his heart.

 

**You:** I get it. I can't make you feel the same way I do and I have to respect your feelings, too. I'll get over it. I just hope we can pretend things are the same.

 

**Player 2:** Me too

 

**Player 2:** I still really care about you

 

**Player 2:** You good?

 

Michael continued to remain silent so as not to worry his parents, but his cheeks and the pillow he was laying on were wet with tears. He was such a moron for falling for his Player 2, but maybe he could have redeemed himself by pushing those feelings deep down and forgetting all about this schoolgirl crush. But he was weak. He just _had_ to go and admit to how pathetic he really was.

 

**Player 2:** Michael?

 

**Player 2:** Do I need to come back???????

 

It took him a moment after the text tone chimed to realize that he had been too busy wallowing in self-pity to notice that at least 10 minutes had passed. He began to type into the little box:

 

**You:** Yeah. I really need to see you right no...

 

He paused before finishing the sentence and making another stupid mistake. He had to understand that friendship was all he would ever have out of his relationship with Jeremy, and that would be okay. At least he forgave him for taking things too far; there was harm done, but the killing blow had yet to be dealt.

 

Michael smiled meekly, an attempt to fool himself into thinking it was still a perfect world.

 

**You:** No. I'm fine.


End file.
